I know many of us, including me, mourned the passing of Bone Crawford, but just in case you missed it:
The instructions to put together the Bumble said that it would take 2 people less than 30 minutes to put it together but Victor and I were standing on the lawn in the dark yelling at each other with flashlights for hours because it was complicated as hell and all the instructions were like, “ATTACH THE GLOPPERHOPPER TO THE SNORLAX WHILE SCREWING THE SNOCKLAP TO THE CLEEVE. MAKE SURE IT’S THE LEFT CLEEVE OR IT WILL EXPLODE. SEE IMAGE OF DANCE REQUIRED.”
At a certain point I wanted to just leave it until the morning but it looked like this and I was worried that we’d traumatize the neighborhood kids if they saw a Sasquatch that had been skinned and/or was flashing everyone.
Anyway, we did finally complete all the pieces and it was totally worth it because yesterday I was walking Dorothy Barker and a woman walked by with a little girl in a stroller and the little girl whispered something and her mom sighed and said, “Oh, you’ve gotta say hi to the monster again? Okay, last time though and then you have to take a nap” and the little girl giggled and all was right in the world.
On a slightly related note, I just got back from 3 days in Canada and I have more on that later (it was amazing…I miss you Canada!) but I’m so tired (in a good way) that I haven’t been able to move for a few days (thanks, chronic illness) and last night I was feeling like a bad mother because I’m too tired to put up a tree and plan a Christmas dinner so instead Hailey and I wrapped a piece of garland around a pole and cut out a tiny Rory and this is now our Xmas pole.
I can’t find the stockings so instead I’m going tape ziplock freezer bags to the mantle. Christmas will be the three of us and we are just going to reheat tamales and it will be fine. All that to say that it’s okay if your holiday doesn’t look like anyone else’s.
Happy holidays, friends!
PS. The actual instructions were about “secured clevis’” and “mounting sliding cotter pins” and are these real words? WTF.